Beauty Sleep

I wish someone would have told me the importance of sleep in kids.  Not just important, critical.  And really, one of your first parenting moments... teaching your kids how to sleep.

I remember going to a friends house for dinner one night with my husband before kids. Our friends went upstairs to put their kids to bed and were down in 10 minutes and we never heard another peep - that was it.  We left that house saying, "that's how it is done."  To say they made it look easy is an understatement.  What I know now is the YEARS of work that it takes to make it look that easy.

Fast forward a few years and we are bringing home twin girls.  I "knew" that babies sleep when and where they want, and at first, they do.   So the first few weeks are golden... the baby will sleep in church, at the grocery store, in the swing while you are cooking dinner, anywhere!  But just when you start wondering how anyone could screw this up, it all changes.  The baby realizes that there are reasons to be awake but you as the parent continue to think that they will sleep on command.  It took awhile, and some tired babies, to realize this change had occurred.   I'd always heard that babies get "overtired" and that didn't seem like such a bad thing - they'll be that much easier to get to sleep, right?  Ah, but there is the big secret.  Overtired babies apparently lose ability to fall asleep easily.  The next thing you know, it's midnight, the baby is still awake and hasn't slept more than 2 hours that day.  That's about the time you want to pull your hair out!

There are many times that I missed the "sleep window", the small time frame during which a baby/kid will quickly and quietly fall asleep on their own.  It is a tricky thing to figure out, especially since once you think you've got it and are so proud of yourself, they change the rules; they learn to climb out of the crib, or decide the crib rail is a chew toy, or learn take their socks off or scream your name.  I am not ashamed to admit I have taken my share of aimless drives with a baby in the car seat until they finally fall asleep.  And God forbid you stop the car!  I have discovered entire new neighborhoods, know all the short cuts and speed traps because of these rides.  I cannot begin to think about the gas money I spent or the grey hairs I have gotten.

Having seen it both ways, my husband and I wanted our kids to be able to put themselves to sleep.  One of  our first big parenting moments.  We decided on the cry it out method, which is just about as fun as it sound, especially with twins.  There were nights I sat on the stairs crying along with my daughters.  And there were nights I said, "I can't do this anymore" but did anyway.  With my third there were very few cry it out nights.  That's probably as much a reflection of her personality as our parenting skills, but it still makes me feel good, and I think we get a little credit.   All of my girls are great sleepers now.  They sleep in their own beds and the bedtime process takes 10-15 minutes, usually with very little drama (usually).

Next up... Sleep tricks I wish I would have known....